As I’m sitting here licking/crunching the first Tootsie Pop I’ve consumed in years, I realized that I haven’t written a serious blog in a while.
As the weeks go by, I miss my computer less and less and find that I simply have no reason to be on it. So it sits on my shelf, forgotten, until nights like tonight. I’ve also fallen in love with writing by hand all over again, so I’ve become slightly reluctant to type much of anything. I’m definitely writing things by hand more than I have in years; I can tell because I filled up almost a fourth of a journal since I have been here – a journal that I have been writing in since March 2009.
I’ve had such mixed feelings about filling up my journal. I have been carrying the same pages around for over two years, filling it with prayers, daily concerns, verses, quotes, emotional vomit, insights, thoughts, and countless words. It’s like a little snapshot into my heart, and I’m reluctant to let it go. At the same time, I love fresh starts and everything that they symbolize, so I’m becoming attached to my new journal awfully fast. I have a feeling that it will fill up before these nine months are over.
So I definitely need to update about the solo trip:
We drove to South Padre on Monday morning. I woke up in the wee little hours of the morning so that I could shower before camping out for a couple of days, and then we scooted on out of camp at 6 a.m. I rode with Jaclyn (our director’s wife), her baby Madison, and two other Walkabouters (Grant and Madei) on the way there. It was delightfully chill and nap-filled. After having to stop our caravan about every hour for tiny bladders, we finally made it to Padre. We drove into the park, pulled into the welcome center for one last bathroom stop and to organize our supplies, but as soon as we all stepped out of our vehicles, everyone started coughing and sneezing. There was red tide.
This is where I wish I had internet and could tell you a dozen little facts about red tide, but here’s what I do know:
FACT:
We were all coughing because red tide causes people to react with allergy-like symptoms. It affects people who already have allergies worse than other people.
FACT:
Red tide’s main effect is that it kills fish. The park ranger said that they hadn’t had a major fish kill in two weeks. He also said that it wasn’t that bad on most part of the beach.
FACT:
The red tide was worse the further down we went on the beach and the there were dead fish EVERYWHERE. The stench was horrible and the red tide was affecting us so badly that some people were having trouble breathing.
Long story short, the red tide made us turn around and drive back to camp again. We stopped and ate some pizza, then headed back to camp, a little sniffly and pretty disappointed that our beach trip was ruined. It’s hard to know that God has perfect timing and plans for everything but still want to be bummed about not getting to stay on the beach for 4 days. I had no idea then what a huge blessing that getting turned around would turn out to be.
The next morning, we all met at Mi Casa at 11 for a late breakfast and to discuss what we would be doing instead of our solo. Aaron sat us down, debriefed the day before briefly, and then told us to grab what we had packed to go to the beach because we were starting our solo in the back country of camp in about an hour. Talk about a lot of ups and downs; we went from mentally preparing for our 48 hour solos, to being disappointed that they weren’t going to happen anymore, to having to mentally prepare for them all over again in an entirely different setting.
Oh man, I can’t even begin to describe how incredible those two days were. I was one of the first two people to get dropped off. I have been out to the back country a couple of times, so I knew exactly where I was, but it was a completely new experience for me to be back there alone. I was able to be in constant conversation with God for two entire days, without distraction or ceasing. It’s hard to explain, but spending that time being so intimate with God changes your heart in some subtle, but powerful, ways. For the first time, I felt my heart really and truly fall in love with God. I had no idea what to expect from my solo; I didn’t think God would give me some huge revelation and I didn’t have any huge sin in my life that I wasn’t already in conversation with God about. So, God just used that time to revive my soul and turn over more of heart to him. Those were the best two days that I can ever remember having.
You should check out the photo album on the Camp Eagle Walkabout facebook page to see pictures!
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