In this moment... I am trusting God with my FOMO

FOMO: noun; the fear of missing out; can describe the fear of missing out on a social activity, conversation, or any kind of event or gathering

I am starting to get FOMO for this next year.

Nothing has made me want to change my mind about Walkabout, but I am starting to realize all the things that I will be missing out on. But of course, it is impossible to do anything or go anywhere without missing out on some experiences. Blame it on the laws of physics, but it's just impossible to be in two places at once, just so that you can make sure that you don't miss out on anything. This hasn't really bothered me in the past because the prospect of what I would be doing almost always outweighed the 'what if's that I knew I'd be leaving behind. But this year, I have a very clear picture of so many of the things that I will be missing. I will not get to spend another year with the seniors and grads in BRH. We will not be singing a song together at dessert theatre and I will not be a part of this year's #BRHatgraduation. I won't be around to continue to mend and build friendships that I have either just begun or have just rediscovered. Missing out on those relationships and experiences might just break my heart. I am leaving so many incredible people in Waco, some of whom I haven't even had the opportunity to let them know just how wonderful I think they are.

This might be one of the hardest things I'll be trusting God with this next year. I know that I will have a school to come back to and a family to look to for support, but I know that a lot will change when I'm gone.

Yes, going to Walkabout is something I know I need right now and for a while, I was too broken to see the things that I would miss about Waco. There are people, places, and situations in Waco that it is just healthy for me to distance myself from, but this summer has shown me just how loved I can feel by others in Waco and from all other walks of my life.

FOMO. FOMO. FOMO.

I really do have peace about leaving, but leaving behind so much love is never easy.